Ever wonder how you can be so close to people for decades and then have them leave your life without a second glance for the most spurious of reasons? I was at my aunt Marjorie's funeral the other day and saw my family for the first time in years and you know what? Nothing. That's what I felt.
My baby sis, who I loved beyond words growing up, is now a stranger to me. She is seriously ill, allegedly. I say allegendly because you never know with her. One thing I do know is that she is partly blaming mum's death on her current troubles and that makes my blood boil given the way she treated mum, and me, from the moment mum had her stroke until she died three years later. Admittedly she was there at the end, but was sadly missing along the way and that is something I can't get past. I hope she finds peace and happiness, I really do, I don't wish her any harm and my heart breaks that she's not there any more in my life, but the fact is I no longer trust her, she's shown too often that she doesn't care about me.
And my little brother, what's going on there? Again, I loved him to death and looked after him like a second mother. When did he get to be such an a**hole.
My cousin, so sweet, so lovely, having completely forgotten that she had a hissy fit when I explored the possibility of mum going to the same nursing home as her mum, auntie Marjorie, and blocked her application so that she wasn't accepted. She seems to have forgotten that, but I haven't forgotten; baby sis and cousin are best bosom buddies - just like sisters it seems.
Favourite cuz? Why does he refuse all my invitations and yet turn it round and blame me for us not ever seeing each other. I'm confused.
Family is a funny thing, you grow up with them, you love them, but in the end you don't like them much and you certainly can't count on them. Whatever people say family certainly does not pull together in times of need and blood is definately not thicker than water.