GETTING IT OFF MY CHEST

Yes, another rant alert I'm afraid; this time I'm alone here at home with Golfer in hospital after a fall that broke his hip. After mum's stroke and subsequent three years of slow decline; after having to make the decision to stop her meds and watch her slowly die; after Golfer's cancer diagnostic and the months of strain getting him back to a semblance of health, he is now laid up again and I'm the carer again. Not to mention all the heartache and struggling and wasted life that went before all that from the age of 19.

And during all this who is looking after me? Not even me! I've put on half a stone in the last two weeks and it's a tragedy after working so hard to get back to health and a normal weight. I'm scared. It's like an out of control rollercoaster that you know is going to crash but you can't seem to find the brake. I've been there twice now: twice up to 18 stones, twice back down to 11 stones and I think that a third time would kill me, but I don't know what to do...